Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Christmas Lists

So I can't really put down what I'm doing for everyone else, but I can remind myself of the things I wanted to ask for Christmas. I keep forgetting what they are, so I need to keep track because they're all practical things that I just need.

- Under armor or long johns
- Ear-cover headband thing
- Simple mp3 player with earbud headphones that have clips to go behind your ears and an arm band for exercising
- Better Homes and Garden Cookbook
- A stuffed animal whether it be a dog or a horse, just something big enough I can hug and sleep with
- Gift card to Wal*mart
- Gift card to Broulim's


Laura, Belle, Lily and Jennifer - Homemade Snowglobes with Baby Food Jars
Hunter, Nathan, Jeremy and Noah - ...?
Grandmama and Grandaddy - Nativity Scene
Sabina and David - Check.
Sarah and Jason - Check.
Mom and Dad - half-Check.
Becca and Allen - Not checked yet.
Stephen - Have to decide...
Bonnie - N & H checked
Brittney - Horse figurine
Brandy & Kristen - Snowglobes and Ornaments
Taleea - Apron and Ornament
Katie 204 - Ornament

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ready for a Break

Mary needs a break, not a school break, but a social break. I've gotten worn out by several people whom I see everyday and I just don't care about hanging out with anyone right now. The few that are exceptions are my roommate, my roommate(s) and a couple friends from our floor. Other than that, I'm wore to pieces and anxious to go home and get rejuvenated!

Life has been good. I was asked to the Fall Formal where me and Mike dressed in 50's (the theme was Dancing Through the Decades) and literally DANCED the night AWAY! We're both in Social Dance 180 and it was a live jazz band, so we Foxtrotted, Cha-cha'd, Waltz'd and did TONS of swing! There was lots of Swing, we did single and triple step and that was probably what we were best at. He was an awesome dancer and leader, so it worked out really well and it was super fun. It was different dancing with the same person the whole night, but he was good at dancing so it was fun!

Then I asked a guy to the Preferance (themed "Baby It's Cold Outside") and we had alot of fun. Me, Taleea and Katie all fixed a 6 course meal for our dates which we all ate together in our living room decorated to the dance's theme (all complete with winter coats on all the chairs, a fake fireplace on the t.v. and fake snow and christmas lights), and then had a BLAST at the dance itself! During fast songs, we'd all 6 of us get in a circle and just dance however we felt like, and then partner dances we'd partner off. My date didn't know how to do anything like swing, cha-cha, etc. but he had good rhythm and so we'd mostly just improv it, make it up and had alot of fun. I actually got to put spirit and dramatizing into my dancing and it was so fun!

Me and Katie dressed up (me as a boarding school girl, her as a nurse) and went to the Halloween Carnival for Halloween, it was fairly small but tons of fun. Cami and her boyfriend Justin were there dressed up as Hillbillies together working the pumpkin seed spitting contest booth, and i paid 50 cents to have her taken to "jail" (a big fake styrofoam iron-bar'd square) where she had to sit on a huge ice block (nothing covering it) for 60 seconds or pay $1 to "bail" herself out. She didn't have money and afterwards had a big wet spot... hahaha, but she had fun and I know it. When we left the place, we saw five guys dressed like the NEWSIES so i got a picture with them. They also had a carriage with two clydesdale mares sitting outside, because one of the IBC business major businesses is Teton Trails Wagon Rides, where you pay $6 to ride in a wagon or carriage for an hour around campus and stuff. I of course made sure I petted those mares before the night was through!

Sunday evening I'm planning a big Thanksgiving-ish meal with 18 people that are gonna come by, where we're gonna read our thankful notes (I made us a turkey to put thankful notes in, thank ya Mom and traditions!) and just spend good time together. It'll be our last thing together as an apartment/family before the end of the semester, so its necessary.

But I am sure ready to go home! I think about Virginia, my Family and Justin the horse EVERYDAY. There has not been a day where yall haven't been in my thoughts, and the last three nights I've dreamed about going home and seeing Justin and family and Virginia. I love yall!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Overwhelmed to the Core

Life is overwhelming. I want to be able to pull out my hand writing journal and write about the last couple of weeks, but it's all overwhelming. There's too much to say, too much I'd have to catch up on. I want to be able to sit down and do a bunch of homework tomorrow, but I can't. I have to work tomorrow, which is odd (since I usually don't work Tuesdays), and it makes me sad because I won't be able to go to devotional.

I was chastized by a friend just today for something that hits close to my heart. A way that I act and a way I talk about things or just am. I don't really feel like listing specifics, but it was a slap in the face. All through class I couldn't get it out of my head, and it's still not out. I don't want to be angry at him, because I know he's right but at the same time the guilt I feel and the sadness... ugh.

Why can't I simply lay down and look at pictures of my beautiful horse and my family and Virginia and forget about going to work tomorrow? Forget about facing the world and the problems Mary has. I feel like I've been trying, but then I realize I haven't been trying hard enough. Plus today, I realized that I truly DO have a food addiction and I need to begin working on it. I went to Food Addicts Anonymous and ordered some pamphlets about it so I'm hoping I can get started.

I miss Virginia, I miss my family... Taleea's Dad is reading aloud (on speaker phone here in our room) a letter from Taleea's sister. She's having a hard time being away from her family, how the heck am *I* suppose to live for a year and a half without my family?! I'm really having a hard time right now and I've only been gone for a little over two months! Plus I don't know if I can ever live without my horse again. It is 10 times harder than I thought it would be. Being without horses really sucks, and my horse especially.

Plus, I need my family. I want to be able to talk to them about my social and friend troubles. I want to sit around our kitchen table after dinner and have end-of-the-world discussions. I want to sit on the couch in the trailer with the lights off while Sarah sits in the recliner and talk about problems and people. I want to ride double with Sabina and talk horses because she's the only one who understands. I want to connect to a Network and play Team Fortress with Stephen and David even when I'm not that good. I want to see Laura and hug her and watch movies with her and be extremely irritated by the way she keeps fast-forwarding and rewinding. I want to ride in the car with Dad and listen to him tell me that the gospel is true and that he knows that this truly is the path to eternal life... and then I want to listen to him sing Bluegrass songs and the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" with his country twang. I want to sit and talk to Mom, because she always listens and always helps me to see my faults and resolve to become a better person. And I want animals! Life really truly sucks without them. I perk up now when I even SEE a picture of ANY animal, not just horses! I miss them all... Dixie, Lady, Princess, Ashes, MALIK! Justin! Chickens! I miss family hugs... I miss family prayer... I miss the green of Virginia's lush scene. I have to admit that if I didn't have the gospel, my life would suck out here; I wouldn't be able to do it. I know the Lord hears and answers my prayers and comforts my heart and strengthens my resolve to do better and to forget about Virginia and my Family for a little while so I can keep pressing on here. He is there and he guides me, I know it. If I didn't have that support and comfort, I would be nothing and I'd be home already.

Ugh, now I need to go do New Testament homework.