hrm

One can only mourn the loss of privacy as they choose to relay their innermost thoughts, doubts, self and other criticisms, fears and distresses on a public blog. An actual paper journal requires too much hand strength, I'm afraid, to tempt me to write in it every time I need to spill words. So I will have to satisfy myself with being consciously vague as I sit here with a thesaurus and depict what is happening within my brain.

Everyone - I personally believe - is entitled to their own self pity party every-once-in-a-while. Not a public pity party where they invite the sorrows and condolences of the outside world to rain down on their expressed distresses, but a personal and self pity party. This would be one where you feel sorry for yourself, allow sodium based liquid to drizzle quietly, and where you treat yourself to one or many indulgences that would normally make you feel guilty as soon as thought entertains them. By this I mean: eating excessive amounts of food (mostly the yummy stuff we shouldn't touch like sugars and partially hydrogenated oils); having a spur-of-the-moment movie marathon; staying up all night reading; allowing yourself to stay online all night; playing hours of playstation until your eyes burn and your head throbs with one of those dreaded "behind the eyes" headaches, or the like! Except for buying yourself stuff, that is one thing for which you should always feel guilty. You can always eat better, get up and exercise, and even start going to bed earlier. But you can't replace money - so I've unfortunately learned. >.<
Anyways, so it's been ages since I've sponsored one of these affairs, and so I do tonight. Although, due to newly brushed teeth, I shall keep to reading a book all night instead of inhaling exorbant amounts of food.

Why the need for it? The idle monotony of today has created boredom; vain anticipation caused me to unwillingly neglect my equine; my parents decided to ruin the plans that I had planned by saying they were going out, then they didn't, but my engagements were fruitless and in vain; the sluggish speed at which our internet moves has made cause for irritation and utterhelplessness, so I ended up ending something I was just beginning to enjoy and -THUS- adding another reason on my list of 'Subtle Divisons' from my elder siblings and in-laws. So, now I am completely disappointed in ten more ways than one and I must retire to my bed where I can pity myself all night long and awake in the morning at ANY time I choose since I have no work.

Ya know, for Thursday night being my new "Friday" night (seeing as how I work Saturday mornings but not Friday mornings) it pretty much SUCKED today.